Rough Scan
THE COMET
I MIND o’ a curious thing,
BAILIE,
that happened tae us twa-three years ago. They were a’ talkin’ o’ a comet
that wis tae appear on a certain nicht, so I invited a wheen o’ the neebours
up tae oor hoose, an’ we were tae hae a kin' o’ tea party first, an’ see
the comet afterwards. The laddies had got bits a’ smokit gless for us
tae keek through, an’ I had an almanack, an’ after tea we a’ sat crackin’
awa’, an’ studyin’ the almanack, an’ lookin’ up at the gas through the
bits o’ gless tae get intae practice.
"Mr Kaye," says Mr M’Cunn, "we
never read aboot comets in the Auld Testament."
"No that I mind o’," says I,
"but"—
"Oh, faither, faither, here’s the
comet," cries oor auldest lassie, at this moment, doon the garrit
stairs.
"Michty me, is’t there already,"
says I, "we maun rin."
So we a’ pickit up a bit o’ the smokit
gless an’ awa’ tae the fit o’ the stairs, an’ I cries as I ran, "Is’t
aye there yet, Leezabuth?’
"It ‘is, an’ it’s quite green,"
cries back my dochter.
"Green!" says Mr M’Cunn, stoppin’
short, horror-struck, "wha ever heard o’ a green comet? There must
be something wrang, Mr Kaye."
"Ach, never heed what colour it is,
as lang’s it’s there," I says, as on we ran.
At this one a’ my laddies comes tearin’
up the ootside stair, an’ breengin’ intae the lobby, cries oot. "Oh
faither, the comet’s oot there, an it’s burnin’ red."
"Red," says I, "Leezabuth
said it wis green."
"No, no, it’s red, for I saw’t."
Here Leezabuth cries doon the stair, "Haste
ye, faither—it’s changin’ colour—it’s white noo."
"White," says I; "Rubbert,
what dy’e mean by tellin’ lees? Are ye no’ afraid, sir, that ye micht
be turned intae a pillar a’ saut whaur ye staun’? Come in tae me afore
ye go tae your bed the nicht."
Here Betty, wha had been keekin’ oot at
the wee window o’ the pantry, cam’ rinnin’ oot an’ cries, "Oh,
Jeems,
there s twa comets—a white ane an’ a red ane—an’ they’re like playin’
at ‘tig’; first ye see the ane, an’ then the ither."
"Mr M’Cunn," says I, "ye
never heard o’ the like o’ this in the Auld Testament, onyway; it’s extr’ornar’."
"It’s mair than extr’ornar’, sir,
it’s awfu’—perfectly awfu’; I hope it’s no’ a judgment on us. Twa comets
playin’ at ‘tig’!"
"Come awa’ up onyway, an’ we’ll see’t,"
says I.
Up we went, an’ made oor way intae the
room. Jist then, hooever, Leezabuth cries oot, "It’s awa' noo."
This wis a disappointment. No able tae
dae ony better, we sat doon in the dark room, tae wait till it cam’ roon
again, an’ in a wee we hears Rubbert at the front door cryin’ oot, "Here
it’s again at the close mooth, faither, shinin’ awa’, an’ it is
red!"
At this we made a rush doon the stair,
an’ jist as we were hauf road doon, Leezabuth cries after us, "Here
it’s again, faither, as green’s a cabbage."
The one hauf o’ us then turned an’ ran
up again, but when we got up it wis awa’ once more, an’ we could see
naething,
so I said we wid jist hae a smoke. So we opened the window an’ sat at
it, lookin’ oot an’ watchin’ the skies intently.
Mr M’Faurlan, next door, was also at his
window wi’ Mrs M’Faurlan, an’ cries across the slates, "Did ye see’t,
Mr Kaye?"
"I canna say I did," says I,
"did you?"
"I did, an’ it seems it’s a new kin’
o’ comet, for it wis quite green."
"Never heed him, Mr Kaye," says
Mrs M’Faurlan; "I saw’t before him, an’ it wis yellow."
"Weel," I says, "this bates
me a’thegither. Oor Leezabuth says it wis first green an’ then white,
an’ Rubbert he says it wis red, an’ noo Mrs M’Faurlan says it wis yellow.
I don’ know if a’ comets is like this, but if they are they’re worth the
watchin’ for."
Mr M’Cunn here gi’ed me a nudge tin’ whispered,
"I’m going hame tae my bed, Mr Kaye, for its a fair temptin' o’ Providence
tae be here. So I said I wid go ower the road wi’ him, an’, if possible,
try tae fin’ oot aboot the comet for mysel’, an’ see what wis actually
its richt colour. At this twa-three o’ us put on oor huts an’ awa’ we
gaed oot, but naebody that we met seemed tae hae seen the phenomenon but
oorsel’s, an’ great wis the amazement when we tell’t them that it was
a comet that changed colours, an’ they were a' as anxious as us tae see
it, so we took positions at different corners tae watch for’t.
In a wee Mr Pinkerton cries oot, "Here
it is." So we ran tae his corner, an’ there it wis shinin’ awa’,
an’ as green as a cauliflooer. While we stood spellbound it suddenly changed
tae red, an' Mr Pettigrew cries oot, "It’s a revolving comet,"
but jist as he said that oor station-master cam’ up an’ asked what we
were a’ lookin’ at.
"The comet," says I.
"The comet," says he, "the
comet! Man, thae’s oor new signal lamps on the railway. We jist put them
up yesterday."
Oh, hoo humiliated we were, BAILIE. I
didna ken where tae look, but I gi’ed Rubbert a guid dressin’ that
nicht;
an’ comets are never mentioned in oor hoose noo.