Rough Scan
THE POLICE BAND
“WHAT’S your
opinion o’ this new polis band, Mr Kaye?” says Mr Pettigrew tae me the
ither nicht.
“Man, I think
it’s ane o’ the best things I’ve heard o’ for a lang while,” I says.
“There’s a heep
o’ folk think it’s rale nonsense, and that polismen wid be better attending
tae their ain proper wark than learning tae play base fiddles and the
like o’ that,” says Mr Pettigrew.
“I’m aware o’
that,” I says, “but ye’ll aye get some folk that wid object tae
onything,
nae matter hoo guid it was. It’s
faur easier tae rin doon a thing than tae praise it up; but this, tae
my judgment, will be a rale blessing tae the community.
If I understaun’ the question richt, every polisman is tae hae
a musical instrument—bagpipes 'll naturally be maist common—and as he
marches up and doon he’s tae be playing awa’ tae amuse the folk on his
beat. There’ll be brass trumpets in the noisy streets,
and fiddles awa’ in the quiet corners o’ the suburbs, wi’ maybe a concerteena
in the like o’ Egleton Street; and every Saturday afternoon the hale
force is tae march thro’ the toon tae show what can be done by the collected
band. Man, I think it’s capital,
for if ye’re jaded oot wi’ wark in your office or your shop, a’ ye’ve
got tae dae is tae gang tae the door and let the sweet balmy sounds
o’ the bagpipe or the trombone be wafted in to soothe your tired frame. I don’ know whether the nicht polismen are
tae play or no, but I suppose they are — they’ll dine instead o’ the
‘waits‘ — and then when ye’re in your bed, and lying awake thro' maybe
makin’ a bad debt or haeing the toothache, it’ll quite put new life
intae ye as ye hear, soon'in' roon the corner, ‘When Johnnie comes marching
home’ played on the cornopean; an’ ye’ll can get up, and drawing yer
nichtcap on, sit doon at the window and maybe even hum awa’ at the tune
tae yersel’ — keeping time as it were. It’ll be in new era in oor dull Glasca life
a'thegither. Indeed, I wid even
go the length o’ saying that they oucht tae put on a fardin’ in the
pound o’ a tax tae keep the ban’ up in the highest state o’ efficiency.”
“Man, I never
looked at it in that licht before,” says Mr Pettigrew. “I think, noo that ye’ve explained it, it'll
be a capital thing.”
So ye see,
BAILIE,
I’ve gotten Captain M’Call one supporter at any rate.