BOOK VII - THE HUMAN COMEDY 106 - AULD LANG SYNE SHOULD auld acquaintance be forgot =And never brought to mind? Should auld acquaintance be forgot. =And auld lang syne? ==For auld lang syne, my dear, ===For auld lang syne, ==We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet ===For auld lang syne! And surely you'll be your pint-stoup, =And surely I'll be mine; And we'll tak a cup o' kindness yet =For auld lang syne! We twa hae run about the braes, =And pu'd the gowans fine; But we've wandered mony a weary fit =Sin auld lang syne. We twa hae paidl'd in the burn, =Frae morning sun till dine; But seas between us braid hae roar'd =Sin auld lang syne! And there's a hand, my trusty fiere, =And gie's a hand o' thine; And we'll tak a right guid-willie waught =For auld lang syne. ==For auld lang syne, my dear, ===For auld lang syne, ==We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet ===For auld lang syne! =======_Robert Burns_. 107 - GREAT FOLK O WOULD they stay aback frae courts, An' please themsels wi' countra sports, It wad for ev'ry ane be better, The laird, the tenant, and the cotter! For thae frank, rantin' ramblin' billies, Fient haet o' them's ill-hearted fellows; Except for breakin' o' their timmer, Or speakin' lightly o' their limmer, Or shootin' o' a hare or moorcock, The ne'er a bit they're ill to poor folk. =======_Robert Burns_. 108 - POOR FOLK THEY'RE no sae wretched ‘s ane wad think Tho' constantly on poortith's brink; They're sae accustom'd wi' the sight, The view o't gies them little fright. Then chance an' fortune are sae guided, They're aye in less or mair provided; An' tho' fatigued wi' close employment, A blink o' rest ‘s a sweet enjoyment. The dearest comfort o' their lives, Their grushie weans an' faithfu' wives; The prattling things are just their pride, That sweetens a' their fireside; An' whyles twalpennie worth o' nappy Can mak the bodies unco happy; They lay aside their private cares, To mind the Kirk and State affairs: They'll talk o' patronage an' priests, Wi kindling fury in their breasts; Or tell what new taxation's comin', An' ferlie at the folk in Lon'on. As bleak-fac'd Hallowmass returns They get the jovial, ranting kirns, When rural life, o' ev'ry station, Unite in common recreation; Love blinks, Wit slaps, an' social Mirth Forgets there's Care upo' the earth. That merry day the year begins They bar the door on frosty win's; The nappy reeks wi' mantling ream, And sheds a heart-inspiring steam; The luntin' pipe, an' sneeshin' mill, Are handed round wi' right guid-will; The cantie auld folks crackin' crouse, The young anes rantin' thro' the house,— My heart has been sae fain to see them, That I for joy hae barkit wi' them. =======_Robert Burns_. 109 - TIBBIE FOWLER TIBBIE FOWLER o' the glen, =There's ower mony wooin' at her; Tibbie Fowler o' the glen, =There's ower mony wooin' at her. ==Wooin' at her, pu'in' at her, ===Courtin' her, and canna get her; ==Filthy elf, it's for her pelf ===That a' the lads are wooin' at her. Ten cam east and ten cam west, =Ten cam rowin' o'er the water; Twa cam down the lang dyke-side: =There's twa-and-thirty wooin' at her. There's seven but, and seven ben, =Seven in the pantry wi' her, Twenty head about the door: =There's ane-and-forty wooin' at her. She's got pendles in her lugs, =Cockle-shells wad set her better! High-heel'd shoon and siller tags, =And a' the lads are wooin' at her. Be a lassie e'er sae black, =Gin she hae the name o' siller, Set her upon Tintock tap, =The wind will blaw a man till her. Be a lassie e'er sae fair, =An' she want the penny siller, A flie may fell her in the air =Before a man be even'd till her. 110 - THE LAIRD O' COCKPEN THE laird o' Cockpen, he's proud an' he's great, His mind is ta'en up wi' the things o' the state; He wanted a wife his braw house to keep, But favour wi' wooin' was fashious to seek. Doun by the dyke-side a lady did dwell, At his table-head he thought she'd look well; M'Cleish's ae daughter o' Claverse-ha Lee, A penniless lass wi' a lang pedigree. His wig was well pouther'd, and as guid as new, His waistcoat was white, his coat it was blue; He put on a ring, a sword, and cock'd hat— And wha could refuse the laird wi' a' that? He took the grey mare, and rade cannilie, And rapp'd at the yett o' Claverse-ha Lee: "Gae tell Mistress Jean to come speedily ben, She's wanted to speak to the laird o' Cockpen." Mistress Jean was makin' the elder-flower wine: "And what brings the laird at sic a like time?" She put off her apron and on her silk gown, Her mutch wi' red ribbons, and gaed awa' doun. And when she cam' ben, he bowed fu' low, And what was his errand he soon let her know; Amazed was the laird when the lady said "Na"; And wi' a laigh curtsie she turned awa'. Dumfounder'd he was, nae sigh did he gie, He mounted his mare and he rade cannilie; And often he thought, as he gaed thro' the glen, She's daft to refuse the laird o' Cockpen. =======_Lady Nairne_. 111 THE WHISTLE HE cut a sappy sucker from the muckle rodden-tree, He trimmed it, an' he wet it, an' he thumped it on his knee; He never heard the teuchat when the harrow broke her eggs, He missed the craggit heron nabbin' puddocks in the seggs, He forgot to hound the collie at the cattle when they strayed, But you should hae seen the whistle that the wee herd made! He wheepled on't at mornin' an' he tweetled on't at nicht, He puffed his freckled cheeks until his nose sank oot o' sicht, The kye were late for milkin' when he piped them up the closs, The kitlins got his supper syne, an' he was beddit boss; But he cared na doit nor docken what they did or thocht or said, There was comfort in the whistle that the wee herd made. He played a march to battle, it cam' dirlin' through the mist, Till the haiflin' squared his shou'ders an' made up his mind to 'list; He tried a spring for wooers, though he wistna what it meant, But the kitchen-lass was lauchin' an' he thocht she maybe kent; He got ream an' buttered bannocks for the lovin' lilt he played. Wasna that a cheery whistle that the wee herd made? He blew them rants sae lively, schottisches, reels, an' jigs, The foalie flang his muckle legs an' capered ower the rigs, The grey-tailed futt'rat bobbit oot to hear his ain strathspey, The bawd cam' loupin' through the corn to "Clean Pease Strae"; The feet o' ilka man an' beast gat youkie when he played— Hae ye ever heard o' whistle like the wee herd made? But the snaw it stopped the herdin' an' the winter brocht him dool, When in spite o' hacks an' chilblains he was shod again for school; He couldna sough the catechis nor pipe the rule o' three, He was keepit in an' lickit when the ither loons got free; But he aften played the truant—'twas the only thing he played, For the maister brunt the whistle that the wee herd made! =======_Charles Murray_. 112 - HALLOWE'EN UPON that night, when fairies light =On Cassilis Downans dance, Or owre the lays, in splendid blaze, =On sprightly coursers prance; Or for Colean the rout is ta'en, =Beneath the moon's pale beams; There, up the Cove, to stray an' rove =Amang the rocks an' streams ====To sport that night. Amang the bonnie, winding banks =Where Doon rins, wimplin', clear, Where Bruce ance rul'd the martial ranks, =An' shook his Carrick spear, Some merry, friendly, countra folks, =Together did convene, To burn their nits, an' pou their stocks, =An' haud their Hallowe'en ====Fu' blythe that night. The lasses feat, an' cleanly neat, =Mair braw than when they're fine, Their faces blythe fu' sweetly kythe =Hearts leal, an' warm, an' kin': The lads sae trig, wi' wooer-babs =Weel knotted on their garten, Some unco blate, an' some wi' gabs =Gar lasses' hearis gang startin' ====Whyles fast at night. Then, first and foremost, thro' the kail, =Their stocks maun a' be sought ance; They steek their een, an' graip an' wale, =For muckle anes an' straught anes, Poor hav'rel Will fell aff the drift, =An' wandered through the bow-kail. An' pou't, for want o' better shift, =A runt was like a sow-tail, ====Sae bow't that night. Then, straught or crooked, yird or nane, =They roar an' cry a' throu'ther; The vera wee-things, toddlin', rin, =Wi' stocks out-owre their shouther; An gif' the custock's sweet or sour, =Wi' joctelegs they taste them; Syne coziely, aboon the door, Wi' cannie care they've placed them ====To lie that night. The lasses staw frae ‘mang them a' =To pou their stalks o' corn: But Rab slips out, an' jinks about. =Behint the muckle thorn: He grippet Nelly hard an' fast; =Loud skirl'd a' the lasses; But her tap-pickle maist was lost =When kiutlin in the fause-house ====Wi' him that night. The auld guidwife's weel-hoorded nits =Are round an' round divided, An' mony lads' an' lasses' fates =Are there that night decided; Some kindle, couthie, side by side, =An' burn thegither trimly; Some start awa' wi' saucy pride =And jump out-owre the chimlie ====Fu' high that night. Jean slips in twa wi' tentie e'e; =Wha 'twas she wadna tell; But this is Jock, an' this is me, =She says in to hersel': He bleez'd owre her, an' she owre him, =As they wad never mair part; ‘Till, fuff! he started up the lum, =An' Jean had e'en a sair heart ====To see ‘t that night. Poor Willie, wi' his bow-kail runt, =Was brunt wi' primsie Mallie An' Mallie, nae doubt, took the drunt, =To be compar'd to Willie; Mall's nit lap out wi' pridefu' fling, =An' her ain fit it brunt it; While Willie lap, an' swoor, by jing, ='Twas just the way he wanted ====To be that night. Nell had the fause-house in her min', =She pits hersel' an' Rob in; In loving bleeze they sweetly join, ='Till white in ase they 're sobbin'; Nell's heart was dancin' at the view, =She whisper'd Rob to leuk for't: Rob, stowlins, prie'd her bonnie mou, =Fu' cozie in the neuk for't, ====Unseen that night. But Merran sat behint their backs, =Her thoughts on Andrew Bell; She lea'es them gashin' at their cracks, =An' slips out by hersel': She thro' the yard the nearest taks, =An' to the kiln she goes then, An' darklins graipit for the bauks, =And in the blue-clue throws then, ====Right fear't that night. An' aye she win't, an' aye she swat, =I wat she made nae jaukin; 'Till something held within the pat— =Guid Lord! but she was quaukin! But whether 'twas the Deil himsel', =Or whether 'twas a bauk-en', Or whether it was Andrew Bell, =She did na wait on talkin' ====To spier that night. Wee Jenny to her grannie says, ="Will ye go wi' me, grannie? I'll eat the apple at the glass =I gat frae uncle Johnnie:" She fuff'd her pipe wi' sic a lunt, =In wrath she was sae vap'rin', She notic't na, an aizle brunt =Her braw new worset apron ====Out thro' that night. "Ye little skelpie-limmer's face! =How daur you try sic sportin', As seek the foul thief onie place, =For him to spae your fortune? Nae doubt but ye may get a sight! =Great cause ye hae to fear it; For mony a ane has gotten a fright, =An' liv'd an' died deleeret, ====On sic a night. "Ae hairst afore the Sherra-moor,— =I mind 't as weel's yestreen, I was a gilpey then, I'm sure =I was na past fyfteen; The simmer had been cauld an' wat, =An' stuff was unco green; An' aye a rantin' kirn we gat, =An' just on Halloween ====It fell that night. "Our stibble-rig was Rab M'Graen, =A clever, sturdy fallow: He's sin gat Eppie Sim wi' wean, =That liv'd in Achmacalla: He gat hemp-seed, I mind it weel, =An' he made unco light o't; But mony a day was by himsel', =He was sae sairly frighted ====That vera night." Then up gat fechtin' Jamie Fleck, =An' he swoor by his conscience, That he could saw hemp-seed a peck; =For it was a' but nonsense. The auld guidman raught down the pock, =An' out a handfu' gied him; Syne bad him slip frae ‘mang the folk, =Sometime when nae ane see'd him, ====An' try 't that night. He marches thro' amang the stacks, =Tho' he was something sturtin; The graip he for a harrow taks, =An' haurls at his curpin; An' every now an' then he says, ="Hemp-seed, I saw thee, An' her that is to be my lass, =Come after me, and draw thee ====As fast this night. He whistl'd up _Lord Lennox' March,_ =To keep his courage cheery; Altho' his hair began to arch, =He was sae fley'd and eerie: 'Till presently he hears a squeak, =An' then a grane an' gruntle; He by his shouther gae a keek, =An' tumbl'd wi' a wintle ====Out-owre that night. He roar'd a horrid murder-shout, =In dreadfu' desperation! An' young an' auld came rinnin out, =To hear the sad narration; He swoor 'twas hilchin Jean M'Craw, =Or crouchie Merran Humphie, 'Till, stop! she trotted thro' them a'; =An' wha was it but grumphie ====Asteer that night! Meg fain wad to the barn hae gaen, =To winn three wechts o' naething; But for to meet the Deil her lane, =She pat but little faith in: She gies the herd a pickle nits, =An' twa red-cheekit apples, To watch, while for the barn she sets, =In hopes to see Tam Kipples ====That vera night. She turns the key wi' cannie thraw, =An' owre the threshold ventures; But first on Sawnie gies a ca' =Syne bauldly in she enters: A ratton rattled up the wa', =And she cried, Lord, preserve her! An' ran thro' midden-hole an' a', =An' pray'd wi' zeal and fervour, ====Fu' fast that night. They hoy't out Will, wi' sair advice; =They hecht him some fine braw ane; It chanc'd the stack he faddom't thrice, =Was timmer-propt for thrawin; He taks a swirlie, auld moss-oak, =For some black, grousome carlin; An' loot a winze, an' drew a stroke, ='Till skin in blypes cam haurlin ====Aff's nieves that night. A wanton widow Leezie was, =As canty as a kittlin: But, och! that night, amang the shaws, =She gat a fearfu' settlin'! She thro' the whins, an' by the cairn, =An' owre the hill gaed scrievin, Whare three lairds' lands met at a burn, =To dip her left sark-sleeve in, ====Was bent that night. Whyles owre a linn the burnie plays, =As thro' the glen it wimpl't; Whyles round a rocky scaur it strays: =Whyles in a wiel it dimpl't; Whyles glitter'd to the nightly rays, =Wi' bickerin' dancin' dazzle; Whyles cookit underneath the braes, =Below the spreading hazel, ====Unseen that night. Amang the brachens, on the brae, =Between her an' the moon, The Deil, or else an outler quey, =Gat up an' gae a croon: Poor Leezie's heart maist lap the hool! =Near lav'rock-height she jumpit; But mist a fit, an' in the pool =Out-owre the lugs she plumpit, ====Wi' a plunge that night. In order, on the clean hearth-stane, =The luggies three are ranged, And ev'ry time great care is ta'en, =To see them duly changed: Auld uncle John, wha wedlock's joys =Sin Mar's-year did desire, Because he gat the toom dish thrice, =He heav'd them on the fire ====In wrath that night. Wi' merry sangs, an' friendly cracks, =I wat they did na weary; An' unco tales, an' funny jokes, =Their sports were cheap an' cheery; Till butter'd sow'ns, wi' fragrant lunt, =Set a' their gabs a-steerin' Syne, wi' a social glass o' strunt. =They parted aff careerin' ====Fu' blythe that night. =======_Robert Burns_. 113 - ROBIN TAMSON'S SMIDDY MY mither ment my auld breeks, =An' wow! but they were duddy, And sent me to get Mally shod =At Robin Tamson's smiddy; The smiddy stands beside the burn =That wimples through the clachan. I never yet gae by the door, =But aye I f a' a-lauchin'. For Robin was a walthy carle, =An' had ae bonnie dochter, Yet ne'er wad let her tak a man, =Tho' mony lads had socht her; But what think ye o' my exploit? =The time our mare was shoeing, I slippit up beside the lass, =And briskly fell a-wooing. An' aye she e'ed my auld breeks, =The time that we sat crackin', Quo' I, "My lass, ne'er mind the clouts, =I've new anes for the makin'; But gin ye'll just come hame wi' me, =An' lea'e the cane, your father, Ye'se get my breeks to keep in trim, =Myself, an' a' thegither." "'Deed lad," quo' she, "your offer's fair, =I really think I'll tak it. Sae, gang awa', get out the mare, =We'll baith slip on the back o't: For gin I wait my father's time, =I'll wait till I be fifty But na !— I'll marry in my prime, =An' mak a wife most thrifty." Wow! Robin was an angry man, =At tyning o' his dochter: Thro' a' the kintra-side he ran, =An' far an' near he socht her; But when he cam to our fire-end, =An' fand us baith thegither, Quo' I, "Gudeman, I've ta'en your bairn, =An' ye may tak my mither." Auld Robin girn'd an' sheuk his pow. ="Guid sooth!" quo' he, "ye're merry; But I'll just tak ye at your word, =An' end this hurry-burry." So Robin an' our auld wife =Agreed to creep thegither; Now, I hae Robin Tamson's pet, =An' Robin has my mither. =======_Alexander Rodger_. 114 - BRAID CLAITH YE wha are fain to hae your name Wrote i' the bonnie book o' fame, Let merit nae pretension claim =To laurell'd wreath, But hap ye weel, baith back and wame, =In gude braid claith. He that some ells o' this may fa', And slae-black hat on pow ]ike snaw, Bids bauld to bear the gree awa', =Wi' a' this graith, When bienly clad wi' shell fu' braw =O' gude braid claith. Waesuck for him wha has nae feck o't! For he's a gowk they're sure to geck at; A chiel that ne'er will be respeckit =While he draws breath, Till his four quarters are bedeckit =Wi' gude braid claith. On Sabbath-days the barber spark, When he has done wi' scrapin' wark, Wi' siller broachie in his sark, =Gangs trigly, faith! Or to the Meadows, or the Park, =In gude braid claith. Weel might ye trow, to see them there, That they to shave your haffits bare, Or curl and sleek a pickle hair, =Would be right laith, When pacin' wi' a gawsy air =In gude braid claith. If ony mettled stirrach grien For favour frae a lady's een, He maunna care for bein' seen =Before he sheath His body in a scabbard clean =O' gude braid claith. For, gin he come wi' coat thread-bare, A feg for him she winna care, But crook her bonny mou fu' sair, =And scauld him baith: Wooers should aye their travel spare =Withoot braid claith. Braid claith lends fouk an unco heeze, Maks mony kail-worms butterflees, Gies mony a doctor his degrees, =For little skaith: In short, you may be what you please, =Wi' gude braid claith. For tho' ye had as wise a snout on, As Shakespeare or Sir Isaac Newton, Your judgment fouk would hae a doubt on, =I'll tak' my aith, Till they could see ye wi' a suit on =O' gude braid claith. =======_Robert Fergusson_. 115 - THE ANNUITY I GAED to spend a week in Fife— =An unco week it proved to be—. For there I met a waesome wife =Lamentin' her viduity. Her grief brak out sae fierce and fell, I thought her heart wad burst the shell; And—I was sae left to mysel'— =I sell't her an annuity. The bargain lookit fair enough— =She just was turned o' saxty-three; I couldna guessed she'd prove sae teugh, =By human ingenuity. But years have come, and years have gane, And there she's yet as stieve's a stane— The limmer's growin' young again, =Since she got her annuity. She's crined awa' to bane an' skin, =But that it seems is nought to me: She's like to live—although she's in =The last stage o' tenuity. She munches wi' her wizened gums, An' stumps about on legs o' thrums, But comes—as sure as Christmas comes— =To ca' for her annuity. She jokes her joke, an' cracks her crack, =As spunkie as a growin' flea— An' there she sits upon my back, =A livin' perpetuity. She hurkies by her ingle side, An' toasts an' tans her wrunkled hide— Lord kens how lang she yet may bide =To ca' for her annuity! I read the tables drawn wi' care =For an Insurance Company; Her chance o' life was stated there, =Wi' perfect perspicuity. But tables here or tables there, She's lived ten years beyond her share, An's like to live a dizzen mair, =To ca' for her annuity. I gat the loon that drew the deed— =We spelled it o'er right carefully;— In vain he yerked his souple head, =To find an ambiguity; It's dated—tested—a' complete— The proper stamp—nae word delete— And diligence, as on decreet, =May pass for her annuity. Last Yule she had a fearfu' hoast— =I thought a kink might set me free: I led her out, ‘mang snaw and frost, =Wi' constant assiduity. But Deil ma' care—the blast gaed by, And missed the auld anatomy; It just cost me a tooth, forbye =Discharging her annuity. I thought that grief might gar her quit— =Her only son was lost at sea— But aff her wits behuved to flit, =An' leave her in fatuity! She threeps, an' threeps, he's living yet, For a' the tellin' she can get; But catch the doited runt forget =To ca' for her annuity! If there's a sough o' cholera =Or typhus—wha sae gleg as she? She buys up baths, an' drugs, an' a', =In siccan superfluity! She doesna need—she's fever proof— The pest gaed o'er her very roof; She tauld me sae—an' then her loof =Held out for her annuity. Ae day she fell—her arm she brak— =A compound fracture as could be; Nae leech the cure wad undertak, =Whate'er was the gratuity. It's cured !— She handles't like a flail— It does as weel in bits as hale; But I'm a broken man mysel' =Wi' her and her annuity. Her broozied flesh, and broken banes, =Are weel as flesh an' banes can be. She beats the taeds that live in stanes, =An' fatten in vacuity! They die when they're exposed to air— They canna thole the atmosphere; But her! expose her onywhere— =She lives for her annuity. If mortal means could nick her thread, =Sma' crime it wad appear to me; Ca't murder, or ca't homicide— =I'd justify't,-an' do it tae. But how to fell a withered wife That's carved out o' the tree o' life— The timmer limmer daurs the knife =To settle her annuity. I'd try a shot.—But whar's the mark ?— =Her vital parts are hid frae me; Her back-bane wanders through her sark =In an unkenn'd corkscrewity. She's palsified—an' shakes her head Sae fast about, ye scarce can see't; It's past the power o' steel or lead =To settle her annuity. She might be drowned ;— but go she'll not =Within a mile o' loch or sea ;— Or hanged—if cord could grip a throat =O' siccan exiguity. It's fitter far to hang the rope— It draws out like a telescope; 'Twad tak a dreadfu' length o' drop =To settle her annuity. Will puzion do' t ?— It has been tried; =But, be't in hash or fricassee, That's just the dish she can't abide, =Whatever kind o' _gout_ it hae. It's needless to assail her doubts,— She gangs by instinct—like the brutes— An' only eats an' drinks what suits =Hersel' an' her annuity. The Bible says the age o' man =Threescore an' ten perchance may be: She's ninety-four ;— let them wha can =Explain the incongruity. She should hae lived afore the Flood— She's come o' Patriarchal blood— She's some auld Pagan, mummified =Alive for her annuity. She's been embalmed inside and out— =She's sauted to the last degree— There's pickle in her very snout =Sae caper-like an' cruety; Lot's wife was fresh compared to her; They've Kyanised the useless knir— She canna decompose—nae mair =Than her accursed annuity. The water-drap wears out the rock =As this eternal jaud wears me; I could withstand the single shock, =But no the continuity. It's pay me here-an' pay me there- An' pay me, pay me, evermair; I'll gang demented wi' despair— =I'm _charged_ for her annuity! =======_George Outram_. 116 - HAME CAM OUR GUDEMAN AT E'EN HAME cam our gudeman at e'en, =And hame cam he, And there he saw a saddle-horse, =Where nae horse should be: "And how cam this horse here, =And how can it be? O how cam this horse here =Without the leave o' me?" "A horse!" quo' she.—"Aye, a horse," quo' he ="Ye blind auld doited bodie, ==And blinder may ye be, ='Tis but a dainty milk-cow ==My mither sent to me." "A milk-cow!" quo' he.— "Aye, a milk-cow," quo' she. ="O far hae I ridden, ==And meikie hae I seen. =But a saddle on a milk-cow ==Saw I never nane." Hame cam our gudeman at e'en, =And hame cam hem And he spied a pair of jack-boots =Where nae boots should be: "What's this now, gudewife, =What's this I see? How cam these boots here =Without the leave o' me?" "Boots!" quo' she.- "Aye, boots!" quo' he. ="Same fa' yere cuckold face, ==Adn waur may ye see, =It's but a pair o' milking-pails ==My mither sent to me." "Milking-pails!" quo' he.- "Aye, milking-pails!" quo' she. ="Far hae I ridden, ==And farer hae I gane, =But siller spurs on milkin-pails ==Saw I never nane." Hame cam our gudeman at e'en, =And hame cam he, And there he saw a shining sword =Where nae sword should be; "What's this now, gudewife, =And what's this see? O how cam this sword here =Without the leave o' me?" "A sword!" quo' she.- "Aye, a sword!" quo' he. ="Shame fa' yere cuckold face, ==And waur may ye see, =It's but a porridge spurtle ==My mither sent to me." "A spurtly!" quo' he.- "Aye, a spurtle!" quo' she. ="Far hae I ridden, ==And meikle hae I seen, =But silver-hilted spurtles ==Sae I never nane." Hame cam our gudeman at e'en, =And game cam he, And there he spied a powdered wig =Where nae wig should be: "What's this now, gudewife, =What's this I see? How came this wig here =Without the leave o' me?" "A wig!" quo' she.- "Aye, a wig!" quo' he. ="Shame fa' yere cuckold face, ==And waur may ye see, ='Tis nothing but a clocking-hen ==My mither sent to me." "A clocking-hen!" quo' he.- "Aye a clocking-hen!" quo' she. ="Far hae I ridden, ==And meikle hae I seen, =But powder on a clocking-hen ==Saw I never nane." Hame cam our gudeman at e'en, =And hame cam he, And there he saw a meikle coat =Where nae coat should be: "And how cam this coat here, =And how can it be? O how cam this coat here =Without the leave o' me?" "A coat!" quo' she.- "Aye, a coat!" quo' he. ="Ye blind donard bodie, ==And blinder may ye be; =It's but a pair o' blankets ==My mither sent to me." "Blankets!" quo' he.- "Aye, blankets!" quo' she. ="Far hae I ridden, ==And meikle hae I seen; =But buttons upon blankets ==Saw I never nane." Ben went our gudeman, =And ben went he; And there he spied a sturdy man =Where nae man should be. "How cam this man here? =And how can it be? How cam this man here =Without the leave o' me?" "A man!" quo' she.- "Aye, a man!" quo' he. ="Ye silly blind bodie, ==And blinder may ye be: ='Tis a new milking maiden ==My mither sent to me." "A maid!" quo' he.- "Aye, a maid!" quo' she. ="Far hae I ridden, ==And meikle hae I seen; =But long-bearded maidens ==Saw I never nane." 117 - TO A HAGGIS FAIR fa' your honest, sonsie face, Great chieftain o' the puddin'-race! Aboon them a' ye tak your place, =Painch, tripe, or thairm: Weel are ye wordy of a grace =As lang 's my arm. The groaning trencher there ye fill, Your hurdies like a distant hill, Your pin wad help to mend a mill =In time o' need, While thro' your pores the dews distil =like amber bead. His knife see rustic Labour dight, An' cut you up wi' ready slight, Trenching your gushing entrails bright =Like ony ditch; And then, O what a glorious sight, =Warm-reekin', rich! Then, horn for horn, they stretch an' strive, Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive, 'Til all their weel-swall'd kytes belyve =Are bent like drums; Then auld guidman, maist like to rive, ="Bethankit!" hums. Is there that owre his French ragout, Or olio that wad staw a sow, Or fricassee wad mak her spew, =Wi' perfect sconner, Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu' view =On sic a dinner? Poor devil! see him owre hsi trash, As feckless as a wither'd rash, His spindle shank a guid whip-lash, =His nieve a nit; Thro' bloody flood or field to dash, =O how unfit! But mark the rustic, haggis-fed, The trembling earth resounds his tread, Clap in his walie nieve a blade, =He'll mak it whissle; An' legs, an' arms, an' heads will sned, =Like taps o' thrissle. Ye Pow'rs wha mak mankind your care, And dish them out their bill o' fare, Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware =That jaups in luggies; But, if ye wish her gratefu' pray'r, =Gie her a Haggis! =======_Robert Burns_. 118 - WHISTLE, WHISTLE, AULD WIFE "WHISTLE, whistle, auld wife, =An' ye'se get a hen." "I wadna whistle," quo' the wife, ="Through ye wad gie me ten." "Whistle, whistle, auld wife, =An' ye'se get a cock." "I wadna whistle," quo' the wife, ="Though ye'd gie me a flock." "Whistle, whistle, auld wife, =An' ye'se get a goun." "I wadna whistle," quo' the wife, ="For the best ane i' the town." "Whistle, whistle, auld wife, =An' ye'se get a coo." "I wadna whistle," quo' the wife, ="Though ye wad gie me two." "Whistle, whistle, auld wife, =An' ye'se get a man." "_Wheeple-whauple_," quo' the wife, ="I'll whistle gin I can." 119 - TAM O' THE LINN TAM o' the Linn cam' up the gait, Wi' twenty puddin's on a plate, And every puddin' had a pin- "There's wud eneuch here," quo' Tam o' the Linn. Tam o' the Linn had nae breeks to wear, He coft him a sheep's-skin to mak' him a pair, The fleshy side out, the woolly side in- "It's fine summer cleedin'," quo' Tam o' the Linn. Tam o' the Linn and a' his bairns, They fell in the fire in ilk ither's airms; "Oh," quo' the bunemost, "I have a het skin"- "It's hetter below," quo' Tam o' the Linn Tam o' the Linn gaed to the moss To seek a stable to his horse; The moss was open, and Tam fell in- "I've stabled mysel'," quo' Tam o' the Linn.